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SALTY-*Salty Dog Cocktail (Grapefruit Mango) Scented

FIRST CHILD-You just had to have your own soap. Well, it’s only natural that you should get a candle. You were first, right? The eldest. The most important. But you’re also the family guinea pig, the one who is always the most responsible, and the one who must succeed at all costs. No pressure there, right? *New Everything (Wintergreen) Scented

FAVORITE-I'm not one to brag. And that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling. *Better Clothes Scented

FUNCLE-Beer me! White 80, hut, hut, hike! I still don't know what that means, but it's something my uncle would've said as he wrestled me and my brothers to the living room with a full beer in his paw while he simultaneously kept his eyes on the tv the whole time, stopping only to shout obscenities at the refs for "cheating" and being "morons." Sure, someone always got injured in the end, but to be honest, rough-housing with the fun uncle was some of the best times we ever had. *Black Ice Scented

MAMA TRIED-Self explanatory...You're a Peach Scented

FUCK YEAH-Well of course I'll have another!-Blueberry Bourbon Scented

F*CKING SHIT UP-Well, can you guess what and what this is about..??-Rum Punch Scented

COOL AUNT-Honey, hand me that bottle? Your auntie needs another top-off. It's been a week, I tell ya. My work load is intense and my dating life is an absolute train wreck. Honestly, coming over to see my favorite niece and nephew is giving me life right now. I don't know why your mom complains so much, you two are absolute angels. You know, she wasn't always this strict. You should've seen her in high school, oh my lord, she used to... Juicy Gossip Scented

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-Cucumber Aloe Daiquiri Scented

WHAT THE F*CKING F*CK-How do I put this? And how many different ways can I say it before I know you're truly picking up what I'm laying down? What. The. Fucking. Fuck? And I'm not talking about corrupt governments and the fact that life is just a hologram. I'm talking about those ballet flats you keep trying to make happen. It's not gonna happen, okay? And toss those wide-leg jeans while you're at it. You look like a damned clown. *Prickly Pear Scented

TROPHY HUSBAND-See that guy sitting poolside in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon like he doesn't have a care in the world? Yep, that's me. Okay, maybe I work two nights a week but I'm telling you, my wife pays all the bills. She's the breadwinner around here and I'm a-ok with that. You got something to say about it? Too bad. And get back to work, corporate slave. Your break is over.-Tricked-Out Porsche (New Car) Scented

CRAZY BITCHES-Don't make me take my hoops out. I'm literally on the verge of smacking that cheap face off your head. If you don't come with me right now to the club and down 14 shots of Jäger with me, I'm telling everyone about that night you spent passed out, face-down on the pavement outside the Sheetz drive-thru window, plain cheeseburger in hand. Salty Melons Scented

Net Weight: 6 oz
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
© 2024 Whiskey River Soap Co.

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SALTY-*Salty Dog Cocktail (Grapefruit Mango) Scented

FIRST CHILD-You just had to have your own soap. Well, it’s only natural that you should get a candle. You were first, right? The eldest. The most important. But you’re also the family guinea pig, the one who is always the most responsible, and the one who must succeed at all costs. No pressure there, right? *New Everything (Wintergreen) Scented

FAVORITE-I'm not one to brag. And that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling. *Better Clothes Scented

FUNCLE-Beer me! White 80, hut, hut, hike! I still don't know what that means, but it's something my uncle would've said as he wrestled me and my brothers to the living room with a full beer in his paw while he simultaneously kept his eyes on the tv the whole time, stopping only to shout obscenities at the refs for "cheating" and being "morons." Sure, someone always got injured in the end, but to be honest, rough-housing with the fun uncle was some of the best times we ever had. *Black Ice Scented

MAMA TRIED-Self explanatory...You're a Peach Scented

FUCK YEAH-Well of course I'll have another!-Blueberry Bourbon Scented

F*CKING SHIT UP-Well, can you guess what and what this is about..??-Rum Punch Scented

COOL AUNT-Honey, hand me that bottle? Your auntie needs another top-off. It's been a week, I tell ya. My work load is intense and my dating life is an absolute train wreck. Honestly, coming over to see my favorite niece and nephew is giving me life right now. I don't know why your mom complains so much, you two are absolute angels. You know, she wasn't always this strict. You should've seen her in high school, oh my lord, she used to... Juicy Gossip Scented

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-Cucumber Aloe Daiquiri Scented

WHAT THE F*CKING F*CK-How do I put this? And how many different ways can I say it before I know you're truly picking up what I'm laying down? What. The. Fucking. Fuck? And I'm not talking about corrupt governments and the fact that life is just a hologram. I'm talking about those ballet flats you keep trying to make happen. It's not gonna happen, okay? And toss those wide-leg jeans while you're at it. You look like a damned clown. *Prickly Pear Scented

TROPHY HUSBAND-See that guy sitting poolside in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon like he doesn't have a care in the world? Yep, that's me. Okay, maybe I work two nights a week but I'm telling you, my wife pays all the bills. She's the breadwinner around here and I'm a-ok with that. You got something to say about it? Too bad. And get back to work, corporate slave. Your break is over.-Tricked-Out Porsche (New Car) Scented

CRAZY BITCHES-Don't make me take my hoops out. I'm literally on the verge of smacking that cheap face off your head. If you don't come with me right now to the club and down 14 shots of Jäger with me, I'm telling everyone about that night you spent passed out, face-down on the pavement outside the Sheetz drive-thru window, plain cheeseburger in hand. Salty Melons Scented

Net Weight: 6 oz
Note: Because all of our soaps are handmade, no two bars are identical.
© 2024 Whiskey River Soap Co.